A day off… on?
I’m having such a nice day ^^ I finally get to relax! It’s been so long, i forgot all about it… how to do it, how it feels :3 I went up without any plan for the day what so ever, which hasn’t happened in ages… The only think i want to do today is to clean, and that should not take too long, as soon as i acctualy manage to get up and do it 
Of course, to be able to have this day i had to make sacrifices. But i think i needed it. I was forced to say no to a friend who asked me to help him move… at 9 am on a saturday during exams… I can only wish him good luck, coz he will badly need it O.o Also, Cia has her birthday party this evening. Right now i don’t feel like moving at all, but maybe after cleaning i will ‘get myself going’. On the other hand, i haven’t spent time with Ahrens in ages and he’s going to Germany tomorrow, and we could just sit and watch movies… which would be extremely nice.
I’m not sure what i’ll do because thinking about it would mean i acctualy am doing something, which i’m trying to avoid today :=) I’m just sitting, chilling, taking in the atmosphere and music ^^
Do i have a point? Yeah, sharing my good mood ^^ Hopefully you’ll get a day soon which is as enjoyable as mine 
Life and What To Do With It
I only have one day of university left, and that will be on Wednesday 4th of June. My exhibition came to an end just yesterday, leaving me with a bit of a hangover from the after party. And now, on Thursday next week, it will be the first day of the rest of my life. Even such a cliché phrase turns into something big and scary in the appropriate moments.
I don’t really have a A to B through C plan right now for my life. I used to, but right now i kindof lost the passion for working with games. I’m not sure why that is, maybe because i’ve been doing it for the past half year. There’s so many things i would like to try and explore besides games, i’m not sure that game design is right for me anymore…
What i am sure about is that i want to travel. I want see the world, live in different places. With each passing day i grow more weary of this country and it’s stagnancy. It becomes very apparent how much i want get move out in situations when such an opportunities arise. A friend of mine asked me if i’d like to go to NYC with him, and i very much do, even if i can’t really afford it. But i want it so much i’m acctualy considering selling my consoles and PC to go. Scary, huh? I guess it says a lot.
I also have a plan to check out what my old friends back in Poland are doing… One of them, last i saw him, was talking about going into media production and was very passionate about it. I am hoping he’s serious about it, i think we could do something together. I’ll talk to him soon and find out…
Right now, i’m just… seeing all these possibilities in front of me, and it’s so much… it’s overwhelming. I need to rediscover passion and find motivation, because i can do whatever i want. And i want something meaningful. Shall this summer be Cousken And The Meaning Of Life? I’m not sure. I really want to work right now tho, i hope that will give me the experience i need to make my decision. It’s hard getting a job tho, i’ve been trying for a while. For now i make my living on freelancing and small extra jobs, like conference host and some such.
Obviously, this is a very exciting time I will write about stuff as soon as they happen. Going to try to get some well deserved rest the coming days ^^ Although, school isn’t over yet… I’ll definitely let you know how my examination went
I’ve had just about enough
This has been one crapy week. It’s like everything just aligned perfectly to make me miserable. Even my ******* game breaks and now i have to wait for a gm, 380 in front of me in que. Good luck with that…
So it started with my Xbox breaking. Not so serious, but still ticked me off. Then we got extra work from school, which forced me to cancel all the plans i had for the week. I don’t even remember most of the small thing but there was constantly something the entire week. A store was out of something i wanted, i just missed a bus, and something went not as I planed it… And i hate when my plans fail. Really hate.
So i thought maybe the weekend will make up for it but no-o. In total, 4 of my … friend back out of previous arrangements at two occasions, all of them less than 8 hours before we were supposed to meet… The first one was ok, kind of had a valid reason, but all of this crap is just PILING UP! I’m seriously trying to sound pissed off here, I’m not sure I’m any good at it.
Oh yeah, and i have school on Sunday at 10.30, then i have to go buy flowers for my, so i hope i will make it in time… that’s the last and only thing i still can look forwards to in this week.
People ditching me happen uncomfortably often. This irks me probably more than other people, because of the things in life i don’t like, having my plans ruined is in the top 3, if not the thing i hate the most. I was discussing this with a friend over a pizza, kind of saying that since it happens to me all the time i should be used to it… Lack of self respect? But otherwise i’d probably lose many friends if i’d get angry every time they bail… His point was if people don’t respect the time and effort i put into meeting them, are they really friends worth having? I’m seriously going to give this some thought.
*curses a lot* Seriously.
Just not to talk about negative things all the time, i’ve started playing Age of Conan, which i like very much so far, and the outlook is that i will like it even more with time. Other positive things…. ****, beats me.
I’m going back to work…
RROD
So guess what i got the other day. I came home pretty late from school, and one of my roommates comes up to me and says: “Oh btw i tried putting your Xbox on and a weird red blinking light appeared”…. FUCK!
Acctualy it’s not that bad. I found myself not caring all that much, and decided to put up a little bit of an act to get people weary of using my stuff, and seem at least a bit human 
The next morning i called up the support, instead of contacting Michel like i should have. It’s a 3 weeks repair time. I guess i’ll live.
The biggest bummer is that i can’t play GTA4 right now, even if i don’t feel like it all that much. Only problem is, i’ve gotten quite into listening to the soundtrack of the game, and that peps me for playing more… But i can’t. Well, whatever.
Today i met up with Helena in town. It was really sweet, we went out to eat sushi and had coffe, also went shopping a little bit. Helena is really cool, i enjoyed spending time with her imensly. She’s very easy going, i like that. She is also my favorite asian. I’ll explain that some day. She’s still not better than a cheetah, though. Also, this is a picture of her ear.
I guess this isn’t directly one of my ‘quality posts’, but i just wanted to ventilate some things. Thanks for reading again ^^
Chrono Shock
I apologize for not writing in a while, but it was necessary to stay true to my convictions of delivering quality posts. Yet again i’m forced to remind that doing that takes time, time i don’t have. During these final weeks of my examination i truly dedicate myself to my term long project. True enough, i have been sick for a week, down with a cold, but no less busy because of it and with time lost due to the rest needed for me to get healthy.
Today is a special day. Next time i wake up, i will go back to work, and feel productive, creative and useful. Today i don’t. I didn’t have any plans for this day, and i don’t feel like doing anything in particular either. This doesn’t put me in any specially good mindset, but i make the best of it. I fix small things, do stuff i have been putting off, like for example getting my computer in order and updating this blog.
My computer had a weird problem with a hardware conflict between the sound card and the graphics card. Apparently, the sound card isn’t isolated and the magnetic field generated by my graphics devices causes electric disturbances, making my computers crash. So i was forced to pull it out, even if it pains me so to loose such excellent sound quality.
I also vacuumed my CPU fan, and thanks to it i lowered it’s temperature by … *dramatic pause* twenty degrees Celsius! Now that is something. There was a thick layer of dust basically protecting any air from the fan from spreading amongst the metal plates. So now my computer is much more stable, and only 5 degrees above the maximal temperature. I blame my spaced out mother board for that. I think it boosts my CPU based on demeaned, because the voltage of the named component goes up an down like a wooden roller coaster in the good old days when ’spine fracture’ wasn’t as recognized a word.
Other than that i didn’t really do anything today. Read a book, went shopping just to get out of the house and have something to do. A guy with a family tried to nick a huge box underneath his jacket, it was a very pathetic attempt that pissed everybody off. You don’t see stuff like that in Sweeden often, but at least people didn’t get all freaked out… the store clerk knew exactly what to do, preventing the theft. I honestly have to say i’m surprised.
Yesterday, which was a really nice day, i was out in the evening and took some photographs. Unfortunately none of them are good, because i am in the possession of The Crappiest Lens Ever. I’m planing on buying a new one, especially one witha wide shutter so i can take more pictures during the night. I also really want to get a film camera, any crappy camera will do acctualy. Basically like a portable web cam. I got tremendously inspired by Pangea Day, i think making short movies would be something very sweet to do this summer. But, unfortunately, my finances are very limited, i still haven’t gotten a job for the summer. We’ll have to see how everything plays out ^^
I guess i’ll finish this now before it becomes another mega-post. I do have more thing to say, as always, but i think i wanna dosage them. Of course, that usually ends up with me forgetting them when i acctualy do the next post. But if i wanted to share every thought i have, every occurrence in my life, i would have to sit here 24/7, which would then cause me not having particularly many things happening to me or thinking about anything original at all… you get the point.
I hope i can get a cool new lens and share some sweet night time pictures soon…
Time lapse
Finaly i have a little bit of free time. Me and Cia finished earlier today, and besides that i decided to sleep over at the office again, kindof to escape from everything for a while. This gives me several hours this day to do whatever i want with.
So this week has been rather bad for me. It started with me getting rejected for the job at Massive, realizing i’m very unhappy with some aspects of my life, and some other stuff i don’t think are apropriate to bring up here. On top of that it’s the last week before the first draft of my work is due, so i didn’t really have time to deal with it all.
Thankfully, today i’ve reached the point where i feel in total controll over those parts of my life i want to change. I’m not woried over what the future holds. I’m interested in the possibilities it will bring, instead. Also i’ve realized how much i like working with my school stuff. Right now i can totaly see myself doing something like this full time and not only not beeing bothered by it, but enjoying it greatly. This has probably something to do with how well this workday went ^^
So about GTA4… I’ve played it two afternoons this week, and to be absolutely honest i don’t see what everybody is so excited about. It’s still the same old GTA like Vice City was, with better graphics and more believable character, but a horrible driving system instead. Or i’m just not used to it yet, not sure. I really can’t see why so many gaming sites give it top scores. Maybe i’m still too early on in the game, or maybe my bad mood has affected my judgement. However that is unlikely as a close friend of mine shared my opinions when we played the game together yesterday.
Anyway, this will be all for today, this post contains what i wanted to tell and right now i don’t want to spend more time writing anyway. So, thank you for reading, and see you soon ^^
PS. This post was brought to you without spellcheck.
